|
Waking Up with Monkey Mind
I’ve been waking up with lots of free-floating anxiety. I say, “free floating” because I can actually see the space in between the feeling of anxiety and my mind scanning for and landing on “what is wrong.” I wake up. I realize my chest is tight and my stomach has this rather curdled feeling. I look to my mind to see what I’m worried about.
I am so grateful for whatever grace has dropped in to let me see that there is actually a space in between the feelings in my body and the “story” of what is wrong. It’s allowed me to see that most of my life I’ve believed that there really is something wrong. I would wake up, feel anxiety, connect it some content — the meeting at work, the argument with a friend, money problems, what have you — then I'd walk around all day as a prisoner of that story, miles from finding my way back to any sort of peace.
This morning I woke up and felt the gripping and pulling in my stomach. Then, magically, I saw a space in between. I watched all the possible stories being presented. It was like some evil maitre d' flourishing his arm as he told me all the possible specials for the day: how about the $100 you spent yesterday unexpectedly? Consider the piles of work you need to do before you go away this weekend. Are you spending enough quality time with your son? What was that weird call from the Trademark office about? Are you gaining weight? Each offering is suggested with the hope that I’ll latch on. That I’ll grab it, believe it, and spend the rest of the day (or week, or month, or my life) feeling bad about it.
I don’t know what that energy is that wants us to feel bad. Some people call it bad chemicals or eating dairy before bed. Others call it ego, conditioned mind, the separate self. Still other refer to it as the devil or evil spirits. Karmic conditioning. The Dark Side. Whatever it is, it seems to be present in most people I know. It is some (slight to urgent) pull to be dissatisfied, disappointed, unhappy, anxious, or depressed. Whatever it is, it doesn’t want us to feel aligned with life, peaceful, and full of love.
Do you know what I mean? (If you don’t, you may as well just mosey along and count your blessings!) If you do, then maybe we can help one another out.
Today I woke up, felt the clenching in my belly and chest, and saw my mind try to feed me a scary/dark/depressing story. I simply got out of bed and began my one-hour morning routine that includes meditation, my 10-10 list, yoga, and writing. This morning routine is the ghost-busters of monkey mind. I just bring the anxiety along with me as I focus my attention on things that make me feel connected and joyful. Usually ten or fifteen minutes into whatever I’m doing, I realize that the story in my head has stopped, and so has the tension/anxiety.
Throughout the day when I’m fortunate enough to realize that Monkey Mind has me in its terrifying grip once again, I simply turn my attention to something that makes me feel good. I keep a file of “Feel Good” songs in my I-tunes and “Feel Good” images in my photo photos. I have a “Joy Book” which contains images, cartoons, and clips that are colorful and make me feel happy. I call a friend. I go for a walk in the sun. I take a hot bath or make myself a cup of licorice tea.I stand on my head. I tickle my son.
One of my all-time favorite quotes is from my Zen teacher, Cheri Huber. It goes like this: “The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention.”
I think this is what I’m talking about right now. And you know how earlier — a couple paragraphs back—I said that maybe we could help each other out? What I meant was that maybe we could share some ideas about how we shift our focus. Those Monkey Mind stories can be pretty compelling, especially when they arrive part and parcel with compelling body sensations like a clenched belly or muscle tightness.
My business partner and I have started gathering ideas of our own and posting them on the Simply Celebrate website. If you have ideas you’d like to share with us, that would be wonderful. Just email me! I’d love to hear from you and share your ideas with other folks in the Simply Celebrate community.
"Waking up" can be full of glee!
Hope to hear from you!
Sherry Richert Belul
Scroll down to find out more about the Come to Your Senses section of Simply Celebrate's Vitality Salon and also about our upcomong Lively Conversation focused on breaking through the mindtalk to allow more play and spontaneity in our lives...
|
and has adapted the skills of improv theater for
use in business training. During the call, Michael will share his story of how improv changed his life and he'll introduce us to simple improv techniques that free us from fear-based thinking and create a sense of self-awareness and play.