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March 2008    Supportive Listening™   Newsletter
Listening Tips
w/ Paul

Accepting versus agreeing—a subtle but key distinction for good Supportive Listening.

First of all, it is my goal as a listener to accept this person in front of me.

While listening, I often think to myself, "Yes, that's really how it was for you." Or "Hmm, I wonder how it is for you, to be in your shoes in that situation."

It is a respectful curiosity—and a deep acceptance of where you're at. So far so goodI accept that you are the expert on your experience.

Now let's contrast this with across-the-board agreeing. This might sound like "I agree your opinion on this external matter is the right one, and others are wrong."

It's the shift from the personal to the universal, from what is your truth, to what is "the" truth.

As a good Supportive Listener, I do my best to not take sides in external arguments, and work to just support the speaker, where ever they are at.

It is tempting to agree, or disagree, but when I do, then suddenly my role changes from supporter of your growth, to arbiter of your truth.

— Paul

Do You have any tips, stories, or questions You'd like to share? Email Paul.

Launching the Basics Class

We are very excited to announce our brand new Supportive Listening Basics Class, starting Sunday April 20th. The class builds from the Introduction and runs for four sessions.

In this class you have the opportunity to not just understand the ideas behind Supportive Listening, but to get great practice and deeper insight, working with a motivated group of peers.

The Basics Class is limited to 12 people, and is open to anyone who has taken the Intro Workshop. If you know somebody who would enjoy this class but hasn't taken the Intro Workshop, there is still time—we'll be offering one April 12th.

cheers,

Paul and Eran
SupportiveListening.org

Upcoming Events

Introduction to Supportive Listening
Saturday, April 12th, 5:30 to 7:30pm
Stanford University, Bechtel International Center
No charge
Details and registration

The Basics of Supportive Listening
Starts Sunday, April 20th, 3 to 5pm
Four weekly sessions
Stanford University campus
No charge. Limited to 12 people.
Details and registration


From the Listening Labs w/ Eran

Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) is a debrief method that was created in order to help people cope with traumatic events.

The idea is straightforward: A trained person arrives at the site of the event, gathers people who may have been traumatized, and walks them through a debrief process in a number of well-defined stages.

So far so good.

But a large meta-analysis by Bisson et al. in the Cochrane Review (more-or-less the final judges in evidence based medicine) concluded that it's not working. (continued)

Fact-Based Listening

Last week we launched our first ever Impact Survey! We are very excited to learn about the impact that Supportive Listening is having on people's lives.

Once the survey is complete, we will share our findings with youin keeping with our mission of providing evidence-based techniques.

If you've taken the Intro Workshop and would like to participate in the survey, but did not receive the invitation, you can take the survey by clicking here.

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