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July 21, 2014
In this issue:
Exploring Squirting Orgasms!
Certificate in Intimacy Education Program


Exploring Squirting Orgasms!

All too often, people dive in and press on a woman's G-Spot - then ask me, "Why can't I make her squirt?" The G-Spot doesn't get juicy until a woman is highly aroused. It is best if a woman enjoys one or two orgasms from external stimulation before you venture to explore her inner world.

When she is ready, and you begin to touch her inside, keep the arousal going by continuing to stimulate the external clitoris with your other hand. Or encourage her to pleasure herself externally, or use a vibrator, while you focus on internal stimulation.

The G-Spot is not really a “spot.” It is a cone of erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra. This tissue can be touched by pressing up towards the pubic bone from within the vagina (see illustration). With a well-lubricated finger, caress and feel the tissue of the urethral sponge. Feel along either side and massage the top.

Follow the guidance of the woman receiving as you explore her inner world. Different women have different urethral sponge shapes and different areas of maximum sensitivity. The type, pressure and speed of touch that feels good will change as her arousal rises and falls. She might have different sensitivities on different days and at different times in her monthly cycle. Different women are enervated differently too. Some women can readily enjoy internal stimulation. But for many more women, the joys of internal stimulation need to be learned and practiced. By combining G-Spot touch with ongoing stimulation of the clitoral glans, you will multiply her feelings of pleasure and educate her nerves into a new state of awareness and sensitivity.

Rather than using an in-and-out motion or a “come hither” motion to massage the G-Spot, experiment with a pulsing motion, pressing up and down into the tissue along the upper wall of the vagina. Move the whole lower arm, rather than moving your finger independently. With fingers straight, make a “waving someone closer” movement from the elbow, massaging the whole upper wall of the vagina. Start slowly and gradually experiment with adding speed and pressure.
Be sure to keep adding more lubricant too! If she seems to be enjoying one finger, ask her if two fingers would feel better. Ask if faster or slower would feel better. Ask if she would like more or less pressure. Follow her pleasure, enjoying the journey.

When a woman is aroused and her G-Spot is properly stimulated in a way that is very pleasurable to her, the tissue becomes engorged with prostatic fluid. In order to squirt that fluid out, women have to give themselves permission – both to experience a very high level of sexual excitement, and to make a big mess. Make sure that you celebrate passion and messiness! Notice and comment on the colour, shape, smell, taste, puffiness and wetness of her vulva. Let her know that you love any and all signs of her arousal. Tell her it’s okay to pee. Use a towel or a disposable bed-protector pad to create a place of permission.

To explore Squirting Orgasms the woman will also need to be well- hydrated. She can be encouraged to drink lots of water, and also to pee right before the massage, so she will be reassured that her bladder is empty. When the G-Spot is highly stimulated and engorged, and sexual energy is high, she may feel that she has to pee. Invite her to go with that feeling, allow it, and focus on it while you continue to stimulate the G-Spot and the clitoral glans.

If you feel a gush of fluid, that’s it! She’s had a G-Spot orgasm. It may not feel especially pleasurable at first. It doesn’t feel like a clitoral orgasm. It takes practice to tune in to the subtler pleasures of a G-Spot orgasm. Also, don’t expect the huge explosion of fluid seen in the diagram here, or in porn movies. Such fountains are rare and take lots of practice. When exploring Squirting Orgasms, celebrate very modest gushes of ejaculatory fluid. After you feel the flow of fluid, take a little break from high levels of stimulation. Stay connected and keep touching her vulva, though more gently. In a few minutes you will likely feel the urethral sponge refill. If you keep going, she will likely have more ejaculatory orgasms. Ejaculation does not mean an end to engorgement, for women.

If she feels a regular clitoral orgasm coming on, guide her to bear down and push it out with a roar. Suggest that she give birth to her orgasm! Tell her she should pee right there if she needs to. Let the waters flow! In this way she can learn to have a blended orgasm that combines clitoral orgasm and G-Spot orgasm with ejaculation.

Ejaculatory fluid smells clean and earthy, not like pee, and the smell can vary with the diet or menstrual cycle. Described by the ancients as “Amrita,” female ejaculate is the life-giving “Nectar of the gods.”

Notice that sometimes a woman can “injaculate” and push the ejaculatory fluid back into her bladder. If she has to pee right after erotic stimulation, this is probably what happened. See if it helps her ejaculate outwards if you bend your hand or toy away from blocking the urethra when she bears down.

The G-Spot can be numb or painful to touch. Many women have learned to desensitize themselves due to penetration before adequate arousal and with insufficient lubrication. A woman will suffer micro-tears in this tissue anytime she is penetrated before she is ready. Childbirth and abdominal surgery can also result in scar tissue that makes G-Spot stimulation hurt. If a woman is experiencing numbness or pain, I always encourage her to spend many hours receiving gentle G-Spot massage. It may take several months or more than a year of regular G-Spot massage to help women discover the pleasure potential of the G-Spot. G-Spot massage is an important way to heal and awaken the inner vaginal environment. In a non-demand situation, directed by the receiver, women can learn to go deeply into all the feelings of grief, joy and electric pleasure that the G-Spot can hold.

Earn a Certificate in Intimacy Education
Residential Intensive September 23-28

taught by Caffyn Jesse with Mehdi Naimi

This unique training prepares people to offer erotic massage, either to friends or professionally, with knowledge of techniques, benefits, complexities, and precautions. In a residential intensive on beautiful Salt Spring Island, plus home study and guided practice, you will learn basic “how-to,” while exploring the potential of erotic massage for healing trauma, empowering joyful exchanges, and offering a spiritual journey. This fall the program will be taught
by Caffyn and special guest psychotherapist and art therapist Mehdi Naimi. He will guide us in using art-making as a portal to the world of sensations and body memories, as we dive into our deeply held beliefs about erotic energy. The idea is not to make beautiful high art, but to use the art materials to slow down enough to notice the intuition, and find creative ways out of stuck places through developing relationships with the Self and with others in the group. We will use all available avenues to access the creative force; drawing, painting, collage, dance, chanting, music, writing, movement, poetry, and dreaming.

Completing the residential intensive plus supervised home study leads to a Certificate in Intimacy Education.

Limited to 7 registrants. Cost including accommodations for the residential intensive September 23-28: $1075

Caffyn offers the program to grounded, ethical, passionate, self-directed learners who feel a calling to this path. Caffyn's original writings on erotic massage form the core teachings. See outline here: (Learn Erotic Massage). Students have free access to all of Caffyn's video courses plus the huge library of online classes at the New School of Erotic Touch.

To apply for registration contact Caffyn at
Phone/text 250-537-1967
More about Caffyn:
More about Mehdi:


EroSpirit on Salt Spring Island
Phone/text: (250)537-1967

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Caffyn Jesse
131 Corbett Road
Salt Spring Island, BC V8K

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