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Mt. Carmel United Methodist Church
February 8, 2017











The New Directories are here!
See article below.
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In the Newsletter this Week:
  • From Pastor Cyndi
  • New Directories are here!
  • 2017 Woman of the Year
  • Lunch on Sunday at Kiko's
  • Youth News
  • Kids News - Children's Council Meeting: February 12
  • Financial Planning Class begins February 19
  • Parent Life: Teens: Begins February 19
  • Women's Book Club: March 3
  • Preschool Consignment Sale
  • Prayers / Thanksgivings
  • Ways to Make a Donation


From the Pastor

On Sunday we welcomed Laura Ware, a counselor who recently joined the North Georgia Family Counseling Center. Here Laura shares a valuable lesson on how we can be part of how God heals.

Pastor Cyndi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we search for healing, we often think we know what we need. We just need it to happen. As we look into the lives of others, we often fall in the same trap. We think we know what the other person needs or needs to do in order to improve their situation. As we interact, we begin to communicate with a solutions focus. In our well-meaning hearts, we want to help fix the problem, solve the issue and correct the hurt. Even though there is a place for that, the most healing approach to pain is often in offering presence and understanding.

I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that the gospel tells us about the Holy Spirit, the presence of God WITH us. This is Jesus' promise to us over and over as He prepares His followers for the moment He leaves earth. He promises we will never be alone, that His Holy Spirit will be with us. And that is an example for us all to follow.

In my practice, I often work with families who are hurting together or who are hurting because one of them is not well. They come in asking what to DO. “What do we DO? How do we help? How do we fix?” Those are great questions. As are the many others about when to step in and when to back off, when to correct and when to just love. The truth is that if your presence is not there first, the rest won’t matter. Have you ever tried to give a well-meaning solution to a person hurting or in chaos, only to be rebuffed by their frustration and anger? It’s a confusing response when you are trying to help. But there is a message in that response. It’s one we don’t often say out loud, and it’s one we don’t often know we are asking. The message says, “Please be with me.”

In the darkest moments of our lives, we often feel alone, abandoned, judged and looked over. Things feel hopeless and unfair. We are often told to “have hope,” “choose joy,” and “keep your chin up.” Although I do not disagree with any of those statements, I do not feel they are the whole story. In Proverbs, we are warned not to sing songs to a heavy heart (Prov 25:20). There is such wisdom in that. It’s not the right time, and the well-meaning message of positivity completely misses the mark. On the other hand, if we take the example Christ leaves us, of fellowship, of presence, we will more effectively be able to love on each other in the darker moments. “I am here. You are not alone in this.” No judgment, no lesson, no cliches, no correction. “I see you.” “You and your pain are not too much for me.” It’s amazing what these simple messages, given by your presence, can do to usher in healing.

So now that you are there, in this person’s presence, what happens next? You show that you understand how they feel. Here is a word of caution: You do not understand what they are going through. No matter how close your story may be to their present circumstances, you do not get it. And most people will not hesitate to remind you of that. What you CAN understand is what it feels like to feel their emotion. You know what it’s like to feel sad, anger, betrayed, hopeless.

Once you can identify the emotion, sit with it. Trying to distract them from their emotion or showing them the positive with which to look is only invalidating (and actually disrespectful) to their experience. Doing this shows more about your own inability to sit with the discomfort of that emotion than it does theirs. So sit with it, nonjudgmentally and without correction.

When you are able to do this, we call it validation. It is not agreement. You may not agree with why they feel the way they feel. That doesn’t matter. It is already happening. It is not saying it’s ok, nor is it giving permission. Validation is acknowledging someone’s experience as they are experiencing it. Validation is one of the most powerful tools in healing.

Here are some quick tips on INvalidation, the way we well-meaning folk miss the mark:

1. Straight up spoken. “You are wrong.” “There’s no reason to feel that way.” “That’s not what happened.” “But they didn’t mean to.” “Don’t be so sensitive.”

2. Comparison: “Well my friend _____ and she didn’t _____.” “No one else felt that way.” “The other kids in your class don’t_____.” “ Well ______’s wife never ______.”

3. Oversimplifying the solution: “If you would just____.” If the solution were that easy, chances are, they would have already done it.

If you truly wish to help the person, I highly suggest letting your presence and acceptance of their experience be your first stop. And maybe, stay there for a while. Eventually, the time will come when action needs to be taken. If you have been preaching to them, correcting them or judging them since the first moment, you will not be the person with whom they trust or come to when they start to solve the issue. When people hurt, their emotions are raw. They need to know the people around them are going to treat them with wisdom and care. Validation is a good way to start earning that trust.

Laura Ware, LPC


The New Directories are Here!

If you had your photo included in the new Mt. Carmel Directory, then you may pick yours up in the Fellowship Hall today, or in the church office. 

Please check your name off the sheet provided to help us keep track of who has received theirs.

After all participants have a directory, extras will be available to others in the congregation.


Do you have lunch plans on Sunday?

If not, let's meet at Kiko's Mexican Restaurant after the 11:00 service!

Kiko's is at the corner of S. Old Peachtree Rd. and Medlock Bridge Road - in the Texaco shopping center. (3435 Medlock Bridge Rd., Norcross, GA)

See Wynne Buran with any questions.


2017 UMW "Woman of the Year" 
Congratulations to June Spruell (center in photo), who was honored by the United Methodist Women as the “Woman of the Year” at a brunch on Sunday.

June’s husband, Bob, sister, Debbie, and brother-in-law David joined us for the celebration as well.

Thank you June, for everything you do for the UMW and for Mt. Carmel!


Mt. Carmel Youth News
 
The Mt. Carmel Youth regularly meet on Sunday nights, beginning with dinner at 5:15 pm in the lower fellowship hall.

Then they move on to programming, games, worship and fun until 7:30 pm.

For more information and to see the Youth Calendar of events, click HERE.

Or contact Youth Director Emily Thompson with any questions.


Kid's News

The Mt. Carmel Children's Council will meet on Sunday, February 12th at 11:00 AM in room 112/114.

Coffee and doughnuts will be provided, as well as entertainment for the children.


Financial Planning Class begins Feb. 19th

Want to learn more about handling your finances?

Dave Ramsey’s scriptural and humorous Financial Peace University training is a great way to start – or get back on track – to experiencing Financial Peace. 

There will be 9 weekly classes from 3:30 - 5:00 p.m. at Mt. Carmel. Course cost is $93 + shipping. Childcare will be offered BY REQUEST.

See mtcarmel-umc.org/connect/fpu for more information and how to register.


Parent Life: Teens

Beginning on February 19th, Rev. Lynne Smith of the North Georgia Family Counseling Center will gather with parents of teens on the 3rd Sunday of each month (exceptions in April and June due to Easter and Father’s Day) from 5:30 - 7:00 pm in Room 112/114 at Mt. Carmel to think theologically about raising teens in the digital age. 

Our conversation will include a study of scripture, theological concepts, and the purpose of adolescence as we explore the challenges of parenting in the digital age. 

Registration is not required, but is helpful, so please send an
 e-mail to ngfccumc@gmail.com if you plan to attend."


Women's Book Club - March Meeting

The Mt. Carmel Women's Book Club will meet on March 3rd at 7:00 p.m. in the Hope House and all women are invited. The book to be discussed is Cardinal Hill, by Mary Anna Bryan.

We have also learned that the author will be at a Book Signing at the Barnes and Noble at the Forum on Saturday, February 11 at 4:00 p.m.

See Chris Bolton or Vicki Walden with any questions or for more information.


Preschool to Participate in Consignment Sale

The Mt. Carmel Preschool has been given the opportunity to participate in a consignment sale in mid March. All proceeds will benefit our Preschool. Here's where they need our help!

Do you have any children's clothing, shoes, sports equipment, toys or household items that you no longer need?  Just bring them to Mt. Carmel and the Preschool will handle the rest!
(May be dropped off in the Preschool or church office.)

The deadline for gathering items is March 1st, so start clearing out those closets!  Thanks for all donations - receipts for tax purposes will be provided.


Prayers and Concerns

Please join with others in our church family in praying our concerns and thanksgivings this week:

Prayers and Concerns
  • Family & friends of Janice M. who died on Feb. 8
  • Alesi family - death of Jim's mother Pat
  • Andy Loftis - in hospital with respiratory issues
  • Bobby Walden - surgery on Feb. 9
  • Gene Anglin - continued recovery at home
  • Carl Garner - procedure on Feb. 8 to help circulation
  • Carol Bryant - for Morris & family
  • Diane Bond & family - death of Diane's cousin
  • Dan Bailey's parents
  • Susan Posey's relatives - recent birth of premature twins

Thanksgivings
  • Successful Men's Retreat
  • Sherry Blackwood: took communion without pain since she had knee replacement
  • Barbara Cooper: for opportunities for fun with families
  • Sherry Blackwood: forum at Candler School of Theology on the death penalty from a Christian viewpoint


Ways to Make a Donation Electronically

Thank you for your support of Mt. Carmel!  

There are many ways to give: You may use a Debit Card, Credit Card, or PayPal, or you may make an automatic electronic funds transfer on a one-time or recurring basis.  

Click HERE to give electronically. 
Every week:
  • Prayers
  • Worship this week
  • Birthdays and Anniversaries
  • Save the Date
  • Counseling Center
  • Norcross Cooperative


Sunday's Lessons
Luke 7:18-35


Birthdays this week:

Bill Chappell
Wynne Buran
Boyd Whaley
Suzanne Foster
Karson Jarrett
Pat O'Nan
Hailey Bolton
Ann Blue
Michael Sengbusch
David Bell
Debbie Ruhl
Anne Greene

Anniversaries 
this week:
George & Lila Hunter


Save the Date

CHANCEL CHOIR PRACTICE
FEBRUARY 8 - 7:00 PM
CHOIR ROOM

9:30 MUSICIANS PRACTICE
FEBRUARY 8 - 8:30 PM
SANCTUARY

HOMEWORK CLUB
FEBRUARY 9 - 3:30 PM
FELLOWSHIP HALL

OFFICE CLOSED
FEBRUARY 10

SR. HIGH YOUTH LOCK-IN 
AT MT. CARMEL
FEBRUARY 10 - 11

WORSHIP SERVICES
FEBRUARY 12  - 9:30 & 11:00
SANCTUARY

CHILDREN'S COUNCIL
FEBRUARY 12 - 11:00 AM
ROOM 112/114

ADULT/FAMILY COUNCIL
FEBRUARY 12 - 12:15 PM
HOPE HOUSE

BOARD OF TRUSTEES
FEBRUARY 12 - 12:30 PM
ROOM 112/114

YOUTH DINNER THEATER REHEARSAL - FEBRUARY 12
2:30 PM - FELLOWSHIP HALL

YOUTH DINNER / PROGRAM
FEBRUARY 12 - 5:15 PM
YOUTH ROOMS

FINANCE MEETING
FEBRUARY 12 - 6:30 PM
HOPE HOUSE

ADMINISTRATIVE BRD. MTG.
FEBRUARY 12 - 7:30 PM
ROOM 112/114

MONDAY STUDY
ESSENTIAL STORIES OF THE BIBLE
FEBRUARY 13 - 7:00 PM
HOPE HOUSE

FINANCIAL PEACE CLASS BEGINS - FEBRUARY 19
3:30 - 5:00 PM
ROOM 112/114

PARENT LIFE: TEENS
FEBRUARY 19
5:30 - 7:00 PM
ROOM 112/114

PRESIDENT'S DAY
FEBRUARY 20 
CHURCH OFFICE CLOSED

SCOUT SUNDAY
FEBRUARY 26 - 9:30 & 11
SANCTUARY

KID'S MARDI GRAS PARTY
FEBRUARY 26 - 11:00 AM
SUNDAY SCHOOL ROOMS

ASH WEDNESDAY
MARCH 1
7:00 AM - ASHES TO GO
6:00 PM - POT LUCK DINNER
7:00 PM - WORSHIP SERVICE


Norcross
Cooperative 
Ministry


















As one of the founding churches of NCM, we encourage your support assisting those in need in our area.

Donations of non-perishable food may be left in the NCM tub in the church foyer, and checks made to the church and marked for NCM may be dropped into the offering plate or by the church office.



Family Wellness
through Counseling, 
Education and Research

Mt. Carmel proudly supports the North Georgia Family Counseling Center.

678-242-9355
ngfccumc@gmail.com
www.ngfccumc.org


Share your story

Do you have an article to include in next week's bulletin or newsletter?
Email these to Suzanne Foster or call the church office.




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Mt. Carmel United Methodist Church
5100 South Old Peachtree Road
Norcross, Georgia 30092
US

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